Honesty

 “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” — Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson, one of the authors of the U.S. Declaration of Independence and a founding father of the United States, was undeniably wise when he put honesty at the foundation of life. Throughout my life, I’ve tried to be as honest with others as possible — because it simply makes life easier.

Often, I was brutally honest, without any filter, in every shade of honesty. It wasn’t always a good idea, and I paid the price for it. I clearly remember the faces of my parents and other adults when my childish mouth said something unexpectedly embarrassing. What should I have done then? Lie?

Lying comes with different motives: protecting ourselves or others from the consequences of truth, or selfish reasons like shaping our image or manipulating a situation. Broadly speaking, lying is an evolutionary “tool” for achieving goals. Across different eras and cultures, lies are treated very differently, but generally, dishonesty is considered immoral — sometimes even forbidden.

Who among us hasn’t lied? A small white lie is part of everyday life for all of us. But why be honest? First and foremost, because honesty preserves self-respect and dignity. It clarifies our self-image and strengthens confidence. Being known as an honest person is also valuable social capital — it opens doors that deceit never will. And, perhaps equally importantly, you don’t have to remember every lie you’ve told.

So how do we practice honesty? Start with the hardest part: be honest with yourself. Many people are deeply unhappy and stuck in an endless hamster wheel because they cannot admit to themselves that they are not living the life of their dreams.

I won’t dissect Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in detail, but it does shed light on why people lie to themselves. The lower we are on the pyramid, the more survival-driven our decisions, and the more authentic we are. As we move higher, when basic needs and security are met, we begin worrying about others’ opinions. We crave belonging and recognition. In my view, this is where the most common self-destructive denial begins — sometimes as early as kindergarten or in the backyard.

We make countless decisions, often taking risks, simply to be perceived as “one of us.” Later in life, we buy heavily marketed sports or luxury products not because we truly need them, but to purchase a sense of status. Status costs money. To earn money, most enter employment, simply to maintain that status. Think about it: people are willing to give up half their waking hours to possess things they believe matter to others.